Music is Life

I listen to probably 2-3 hours of music a day, minimum. My tastes vary pretty greatly, ranging from Nordic music to electronic music to Grunge to Progressive Metal. I grew up in a household that was constantly filled with music. We had VHS upon VHS of 80's rock and metal band concert videos that I used to watch all of the time. The one I remember the most was Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon. Add to that the huge multitude of CD's we had and it was a constant jam fest. My dad had a pair of speakers set up in the living room that were huge and he was proud of. Very proud of, and rightfully so. I probably loved those things just as much as he did, at least when I was home alone with my little brothers and I was picking the music.

I never really thought much about how much I listen to music or how much different music I listen to until my girlfriend and I were talking about it one day. Maybe she just doesn't listen to that much music. Probably not the case, though.

Alice In Chains, Metallica, Tesla, Queensryche, Megadeth; So many bands are embedded in my memory and will forever be a part of my life because they are tied to so many memories. Music helps me get into a desired state of mind, whether it was preparing for a football game or I was needing to feel some creativity. No matter what it is, music is a vital part of my life. So many different feelings and ideas can be expressed or created with and because of music.

Here is some of my recommendations for those that read this (band names):

TesseracT
TOOL
A Perfect Circle
Rage Against the Machine
Deadmau5
Nero
Chimp Spanner
Opeth
Scar Symmetry
Monuments

Apple Butter Makin' Days Year Dos

If you have read the previous posts about Cerberus Crafts then you have a little knowledge regarding our history with Apple Butter Makin' Days. A lot has changed since this time last year. Most of all "us" is now "I". One of my partners left for the Navy and the other now works for a utility company that involves lots of travels. This will prove to be quite interesting for me this year without the added hands.

I was uncertain that I was going to be able to have a booth at Apple Butter Makin' Days this year due to school, work, and the finances leading up to it. After much consideration and looking at what stock I had left, I determined it would be financially wise to go ahead and do it. Remember the award we won? That cut my booth cost in half this year! BOOM!

My product list this year still consists of wood burnings and Perler pieces, but I have some added Perler items that I think will get good receptions. I started making coaster sets (see picture) that are freaking awesome. Best of all, they actually work! I'm pretty excited to see what people think of them. I'm hoping that I will get some orders from people there to make and send after Apple Butter Makin' Days, something I failed at doing last go around. Not this year. I will have my handy dandy order book!

I know that I have a pretty decent stock, bigger than last year for sure, but to me it will never be enough. The uncertainty of want people will want and ask for is stressing, but its also very intriguing to see what people look at and how they react. I love the psychology of it all. Hopefully this year is as much and more of a success than last year.

The Weight of Being a Chiefs Fan

Tonight the chiefs played on Monday Night Football against the Green Bay Packers. The meet up itself held some nostalgia with it being the 50th year of the Super Bowl and these two teams were the contenders of Super Bowl I. However, the feeling of excited leading into this game was quickly extinguished as the Chiefs showed everyone just how hard it is to be a Chiefs fan.

We (I use the term "we" when talking about the Chiefs, because you know, weird things sports fans do.) have a ton of talent on both sides of the ball. We returned the exact same defense as last year while also gaining our 3 injured starters. The defense was one of the best in the league last year. They didn't allow a single 300 yard passer or a pass that went over 50 yards. That's pretty damn impressive. But just like everything else when it comes to the Chiefs and being a fan, we were swiftly torn down. Week 3 and we already give up BOTH of those categories in the same game.

It is unbelievable how frustrating it is to be a Chiefs fan. I'm no football genius by any means, but when I can observe the Chiefs offense and the design of the plays and see how simple they are, someone needs to not have a job there. The play calling is horrendous, the offensive line may be one of the worst if not the worst in Chiefs history, everything is just crap.

This is supposed to be our year, like every year, and just like every year we show everyone how seriously you don't have to take the Chiefs. This was one of the worst displays I've seen, and not necessarily because it was THAT bad, because we SHOULD be THAT good and we are nowhere close. Hey, we finally ended our NFL history long streak of having no wide receiver touchdowns though! Oh the joys of being a Chiefs fan!

Relaxation Station

My girlfriend and I bought a house together this past May. It’s a little three bedroom house in Monett. It was my grandmother’s house at one point in time. We painted before we moved all of our stuff in and let me tell you, that was an experience. We painted pretty much every room in the house over a three day period. We certainly learned a lot about how to paint. My brother got red paint on our kitchen ceiling. It’s still there. I haven’t painted over it yet. I need to. I look at it every time I’m in the living room. I just tilt my head up and chuckle a little bit to myself. How could he have done that? We also installed a water heater on our own and cabinets. The water heater was a bit of a challenge. We bought the house and it has a gas water heater, but neither of us really like gas. It makes her nervous, so we decided to go ahead a put in an electric one. We had internet at our house before we had hot water, but that was okay. Installing the cabinets was a lot easier than I expected it to be. I cut the counter tops myself. We still have to install our dish washer and the counter top over that, but I don’t think that’s going to be too hard. I want to finish the garage. I’ve purchased all of the insulation that I’ll need. Next step is dry walling, but I’m going to have to get help for that. My uncle has done a lot of construction so I’m going to see if he can give me some tips and pointer. I love that we bought a house that we can do a little bit of work on, but not too much. We didn’t want to overwhelm ourselves. 

Dark Tower Power

My girlfriend is a big fan of the Dark Tower by Stephen King. She’s been telling me that I need to read it for the entire five years that we’ve been together. I tell her all the time that I’ll get to it. I’ll eventually read it, I’ll pick it up, but I haven’t yet. I really do want to. She says that it’s the best series that she’s ever read. She has two tattoos dedicated to the story, so I think that it has to be pretty good. Sony is making a movie and tv series based on the books. I think that she told me it is going to be released in January of 2017. She is beyond excited. She called me while I was at work when she first saw it announced. I thought something terrible had happened, but it was just her excitement. She gets really excited anytime she gets to talk about it. It makes her face light up.  One of these days I really am going to read it. The story that she’s told me makes it sound like it’s going to be really interesting. I wonder want I’ll think of it. I don’t want her to ruin it for me though. Sometimes she starts to tell me something really important that happens in the series and she stops herself.  I know that she really wants me to read them. I want to too, but I have this sense of dread, I think. I’m not sure that’s the right word for it. I don’t want to be disappointed in it, because I think that would make her sad. I don’t want to ruin that for her.  I told her when she reads the Halo book series; I’ll read the Dark Tower books. I think that is a pretty fair trade in my opinion. 

Holidaze

It’s getting close to Halloween. I have never really cared much about the holidays. We never decorated. We didn’t really celebrate anything but Thanksgiving and that’s because everybody in my family, myself included, loves food. Anytime we get together, there is always a lot of food.  My girlfriend loves Halloween and Christmas. For the last few months she’s been picking up random withes and ghosts and pumpkins. Every time I get home from work, there’s another decoration up. It makes her so happy to have a house to decorate. It’s so different than what I grew up in. Her favorite holiday is Christmas. She starts her shopping in July. I always tell her not to get me anything, but she always does. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her that I don’t want anything, that I don’t need anything. She loves getting gifts for everybody. She’ll put our tree up on December 1^st and it’ll be up until she feels like taking it down, usually in the middle of January. She keeps talking about getting decorations for outside. I have to put lights on the house this year. She told me that as soon as we bought the house.  I like seeing her happy, though, so I’m going to put up lights, and decorate the tree with her. I like starting these new traditions with her.  I know that it’s something that is going to get a little bit crazy when she and I have kids, but I’m looking forward to seeing that, too. She always talks about all the things she wants to do around Christmas. She wants to make advent calendars, hot chocolate, watch Christmas movies on Christmas Eve. I still am not a huge fan of the holidays, but they are certainly growing on me, the longer we’re together. She just has so much holiday spirit. 

Word Pictures

I used to really love to write. I don’t do it as much as I used to. I like to tell stories. I have a lot of stories that just kind of circulate around in my brain. Sometimes I write them down, sometimes I just tell people; anyone who will listen. This assignment has kind of kick started my brain a little bit. I’ve been writing more, and I think I’m starting to like it again. It was hard at first. I didn’t want to sit down every day and around about something. I could not think of anything to write about. I didn’t want to write about what I saw. I wanted to write something original, something that gave people a better sense of who I am as a person and as a writer. I hate busy work. If I’m writing something, I want it to be important or personal. I want it to be something that people want to read.  By blogging, I think that I’ve awakened a part of my brain that I didn’t realize was asleep. I think that by being out of school so long I have just been really out of practice. I don’t think that I have written since the last time I was in school. I’m getting a lot better about it though. I am enjoying it again and that’s such a big deal. It makes this assignment much easier. I’m glad I’ve been keeping up with it though, because I can feel myself getting better. I want to continue to write, maybe not every day or every night, but I want to write at least twice a week. I want to make this a habit. I really want to start putting all these ideas that I have floating around my head down on paper. It’ll make it easier to tell people about them. 

Familia

I want to have a family. I have three younger brothers. I was raised by a single father, and he is one hell of a guy. He does everything for his family. He is always there for me when I need him. I love my dad. He’s been with me through everything, he’s supported me every step of the way in my life. I’ve found a girl that I love and I’m really excited to be starting a family in the future. It’s interesting to look back on my life, from where I am now.  My girlfriend and I have a house. We have a perfect dog. We’ve been together for five years, on the 8^th of October. She wants to have a family, too. I love being able to know that I’ve got a future with her. We have names picked out and everything. I want to have three kids. I know that I’ll be a good dad. I love kids. I’ve got a big family; lots of cousins. I love to play with kids and I love to teach them. It’s so cool to see this tiny little child learn and understand something for the very first time. I used to coach mighty mites. I loves being able to help kids learn something that’s going to help them later in life. I’m excited to eventually be a father. My girlfriend wants our kids to have red hair. I tell her that she’s crazy. I hope they have anything but red hair. I guess that we will just have to wait and see. I hope that everything works out the way we have planned. I’ve never been much a planner. I just hope that I can be the kind of father that mine is. I would be so lucky. 

ERMERGERDFERDS

I love food. I tell everybody that I only care about two holidays; the Supberbowl, and Thanksgiving. Sometimes it is so hard because I’m a diabetic.  I love to eat. My girlfriend loves to bake, too, so that’s really hard sometimes. I can’t eat everything that I want to and I can’t eat as much as I’d like. I’ve been diabetic for 12 years. I’ve learned how to deal with it. I’m on two different insulins; they keep my blood sugars regular, right where they’re supposed to be. I know that every once in a while I can have a candy bar or a sucker and it’s not going to kill me. I think that it’s something that a lot of people don’t think about. I know that sometimes I forget about it. I’ve lived with it for so long that it’s just normal to me. I know that sometimes it freaks people out when I pull out my insulin and give myself a shot. It’s kind of funny to watch people’s reactions sometimes. I want to educate people that give me dirty looks. Taking a shot is something that I have to do, 5 times a day, every day, for the rest of my life. I do love food though. Comfort food and Mexican food are my favorites. I want my Mexican food as spicy as you can make it. I want tears coming down my face because it’s so hot. I’m a meat and potatoes and literally everything else kind of guy. I love Brussel sprouts and asparagus. I love to experiment with different recipes and ingredients.  I love when people tell me about how much they loved this food that they tried and then going home and making that food. I want to taste something from all over the world. I think that if I were to ever travel around the world, it would be so that I could taste all different kinds of authentic food. 

Pets Pet Pets

I never really had pets growing up. I always wanted a dog, but anytime I would get one it just never seemed to work out. They either ran away or we had to move to a play where pets weren’t allowed.  I have never liked cats, but I liked dogs. When my girlfriend first moves in with me, she asked if it was okay if her dog, that she had had since she was 7 or 8, and I said yes immediately. I fell in love with that dog. She loved me so much. Her name was Branwen. She slept on my side of the bed every night. She would always come sit on my lap when I would come home from work. She was more of my dog than my girlfriend’s dog, we would always joke. She was a wiener dog. She died last February. We were both devastated, heartbroken. Branwen was 13. She lived a really good life. We decided that we missed have a little dog around the house, so we found another little wiener dog. We named her Zelda. She is spoiled rotten. We love her more than anything. We still miss Branwen and we really wish that they would’ve been able to meet, but Zelda is such a sweetheart. She sleeps between my legs and she’s always so excited to see me when I get home from work. My girlfriend and I are talking about getting another dachshund. They are the best dogs. I don’t ever want to get a different breed.    Zelda likes to take naps with me. She always fights to get under the blankets. She’s really friendly and outgoing. I hope that we can find another wiener dog to buy. We’ve talked about maybe breeding Zelda. That would be a really cool experience. 

Movie Time

I like to watch movies. I’ve been watching movies for as long as I can remember. They can take you to an entirely different world. You can watch things that you had never even imagined. I don’t buy movies as often as I would like. My girlfriend asked me if I wanted any movies for Christmas this year. I gave her a short list of some of my favorite movies, so maybe I’ll have a few more to add to my collection. Some of favorite movies are Saving Private Ryan, Pacific Rim, and the Fountain.  I love movies that make me think, movies that are more than just action. I want a good story.  I want something entertaining and something that I can talk about after I watch it. I want something to discuss. Movies that shock me a little bit are also always interesting. I want to feel something when I watch a movie. My girlfriend and I don’t always see eye to eye on movies. She loves horror movies, watches them all the time. It drives me nuts. I think horror movies are the worst kind of movies that there can be. They, generally, have no real plot. They just aren’t good entertainment to me. I think that they always try too hard and the acting isn’t very good. I never ask questions after watching a horror movie. There is never anything to make me think. I’m really looking forward to seeing the Martian. I hope that it’s as good as I think it is going to be. Interstellar was a really good movie too. I like space movies. Star Wars at the end of the year, that’s going to be a big deal. I have very high hopes for it. I don’t want to admit that I’m a little bit nervous about it. 

Football Games Are For Football

So, Cassville and Mt. Vernon, two towns near Monett, both had prayer before their football games respectively over the speakers, right before the national anthem. I'm not okay with that. If I was a parent to a student in either of those systems, someone, probably a few people, would be getting an earful. You cannot do that. I don't care what religion you are. You are representing ALL of your students and your community, not to mention you are a government funded entity which makes it illegal. I'm tired of people, obviously Christians are more prominent in our area (not picking on just Christianity), pushing their religions on others. I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't make me uncomfortable. I'm also not saying I can't handle it, but that doesn't mean it's okay. If you want to pray, by all means do so, but don't do it in a setting where others are forced to be involved.

Vidja Games

I love video games, probably more than I love movies. I have always played video games. I used to play them with my dad when I was a little kid. He would always beat me. When my brothers were old enough, I played with them. I would always beat them. It’s just kind of been a family thing. It was something that we would always do together, even if we weren’t all playing. My dad would play and we would sit and watch. We would pass the controller around the room, each playing a round or two, before passing it to the next person. It’s something that my girlfriend and I do together as well. It just gives me a sense of comfort. I will always want to play video games. I want the newest system and the newest games. Don’t get me wrong, though, I still have my original Xbox. My girlfriend and I combined have a Nintendo 64, a Gamecube, a Wii, a Playstation 2, an Xbox, an Xbox 360, and an Xbox One. She wants to get a WiiU. I’ve never been a big fan of Nintendo. I like them, but I’m definitely an Xbox person. I am a huge fan of Halo. I own all the games. I have some collectible statues.  I’ve even contemplated getting a Halo tattoo. People say that I’m a Halo fanboy, and I am absolutely okay with that. The newest installment of Halo comes out on the 27^th of October. I absolutely cannot wait. I’ve always preordered the game and gone to pick them up at the midnight releases. I’ve met some great friends playing Halo online. I hope that when I have kids, they will share my love of video games, especially Halo. It would be cool to play with my son or my daughter. 

Cerberus Crafts: The Reward

All set up, soaked and cold, our first booth ever was officially up and running. The rain finally let up but it was still pretty dreary. Not exactly pristine fair weather. The first of the three day venture was the worst, and understandably slow. Mt. Vernon gets out of school for the first day every year, but everyone else is occupied, be it a job or school elsewhere. When added to the weather it makes for a pretty small turn out, at least compared to expectations.

Preparing for Apple Butter Makin' Days was interesting. I thought that I had a decent idea of what would sell and what wouldn't. Boy, was I wrong. I had expected there to be a vast interest in sports woodburnings with our nerdy pieces catering to the specific crowd. I quickly discovered that 1. there are nerds everywhere. A lot of them. And 2. People are easily attracted to items that are unique in a crowd full of wood products. We were definitely not prepared for the reaction we received for our Perler pieces.

We had brought some of our beads to work on custom ordered pieces here and there, not really expecting much of a response. Next thing we know, we are taking orders in and rushing them out. It was absolute madness. A madness we were not exactly prepared for, but certainly welcomed. All of our beads found their way to our booth after realizing that we needed all of them and then some.

Kids loved us. Parents of the kids that loved us hated us. We were just big kids doing what we loved and it worked for us. It worked extremely well for us. So well in fact, that we ended the three day span with an award for Best Youth Vendor. We won an award for our first booth ever. Holy crap! The experience of our first booth will be tested again at this year's ABMD, and I can't wait.

Cerberus Crafts: The Flood

Business was decent, but definitely no more than just extra cash on most days. I had recruited two friends that were brothers into the business, hoping that our combined creative powers would give the boost the business needed. Along with the brothers, a new craft was brought in called Perler Bead Art, most commonly known as pixel art. I hadn't seen anything like it before. At first glance, it didn't seem very practical. Interesting, no doubt, but not practical. 

After dabbling with the Perler art for a little, I realized that there was potential for a large and growing consumer base. Nerd culture is big and getting bigger every year and this was perfect for areal business. At this point, I had finally found a job, but my focus remained on the business.

We wanted to really get our business out into the world and make it into a legitimate income, so we set up a booth at Apple Butter Makin' Days last year. It was the first time any of us had ran a booth, let alone selling anything at a fair. The first day, or the beginning anyway, was terrible. When it rains, it pours. That was the literal case for us that day. We arrived to set up our booth at 6 AM after a sleepless night of finishing everything up. It started pouring rain as we got everything unloaded at the Mt. Vernon Square quickly became a pool. 

Fighting through the rain trying to keep everything from getting completely soaked, we finally got everything set up. Then it started to really pour. Another vendor arrived to inform us that we were in their spot. The chamber had failed to let us know that they had moved us to a different location. After getting soaked in a matter of seconds and freezing, I had managed to figure out where we were supposed to go and along we went.

Cerberus Crafts: Origins

Once upon a time, I had hope to become a business owner in the craft business. It started in the fall of 2012 when I was trying to think of something to get my girlfriend for her birthday. She, much like myself, is a huge nerd and especially loves anything Batman and Zelda. Now, I'm sure you know what a wood burner is. I'm almost positive that everyone had one at some point in their life. Of course, most of them were used to see what you could catch on fire, or at least mine was. Needless to say, I didn't have it long.

I don't remember the thought process that led me to choose doing a wood burning, but I decided to do a Zelda piece. Turns out, it was the first of many. Originally I was just doing it as a hobby until one day a friend approached me offering to buy one. Then it hit me. I could make money doing this. I started off primarily doing sports teams and, every once in a while, a nerd related piece.

At the time, I was in between jobs so I was really pushing toward making a living wage during something I had come to highly enjoy. G.P. Woodcrafts became the working name of my "business" in homage to H.P. Lovecraft. I wanted to grab the interest of as many people as possible so that more people would want to buy my stuff. Turns out, I am pretty decent with a Dremel! Some of my more expensive pieces now incorporated engraving all done by hand with my handy dandy Dremel 4000. Those, much like childhood wood burners, didn't last long. They just took too long to make for the money people wanted to spend. There had to be something that I could do that was a realistic endeavor.

Audience

Learning your audience is a daunting tasks through text alone. It is much like trying to determine true emotion through a text message. There is so many little details in people’s actions and responses that can teach you, or at least create an assumption, of how the audience feels.

After reading the discussions pertaining to audience in my class, I can say that there is a decent amount of variety. The question I provided to the class provided some perspective, though not without some analyzing of posts, into why the audience is who they are. From what I gathered, many are Christians, some more obvious than others. This can lead to my thoughts and ideas often times being regarded as unpopular because I am a vocal anti-religion agnostic.

There was a question that asked, "If we could give up something we hold dear forever and do anything we wanted for one day, would we do it and what would it be?" The responses were all the same: It wouldn't be worth it. All, except one. One respondent said that he would do it to have one more day with his deceased wife. The way I perceived these reflects that my audience, when attached to something, will not easily be swayed into giving it up.

Many of the questions were much smaller in scope, but very detail oriented. Knowing something as simple as what people like to listen to can open the door to much more details of their interests. Though it can be looked at as stereotyping, I know that almost everyone I have met that has similar music tastes to myself also have very similar interests. By deducing from that, I can assume, sometimes incorrectly, that people with other similar music tastes will also have similar interests.

All in all, I would say that there are some complex thinkers (big picture) in the audience ranging all the way down to pretty simplistic thinkers (small picture).

NFL IS HERE!

Rejoice friends, for it is the day of reckoning. The time has come for great battle to once again stake its claim on the Gridiron. Football. Is. HERE.

This is the greatest time of the year. The leaves are changing colors, the cool wind is blowing and the aroma of BBQ and hot wings fill the air. This is my holiday season and the Super Bowl is my Christmas. This year marks an important year in football history as teams fight for a spot in the 50th Super Bowl. The legacy of this grand event has left its mark on the memories of millions. For some, it's a bleak reminder of the day their team lost it all in the last seconds and for others, it's a day of hope. Hope that one day that one day they will finally see their team play the game of games.

Football is more than a game. It is a part of everyday life for some. It is a joyous gathering that leaves it's eternal mark on our memory. Football is here, and it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Sleeper #2

"Luke."

Someone else is here with me. I am not alone.

"Luke."

Startled, I lift my head from my bed. Nothing. The voice still reverberating through the walls of my room, I couldn't place it's source.

This is all just a bad dream.

I close my eyes, hoping for an escape from this nightmare. It was as if my eyes were still open, my room still in my vision, now accompanied by a bright silhouette standing at the foot of my bed.

What was that?!

I shoot my eyes open, my body now shaking with adrenaline. My room was as empty and dull as it was when I fell asleep. The voice was still apparent like a ghostly fog.

I have to wake up. I HAVE TO.

I force my eyes shut, finding the apparition next to me, looking me over. I was paralyzed, helpless. The figure then approached the door before turning, seemingly starring at me. Reaching out to open the door, words precipitated toward me, "We have something we need to tell you." The figure exited into what seemed like an endless black. Curiosity a curse now, I roll to crawl out of my bed. My feet land and I pause.

I have to know. 

Approaching the door, I extend my hand, opening to find what looked like some sort of forest. I enter, closing the door behind me.

As I begin to scan my surroundings, I soon find the door had gone, leaving me in this strange place. Leaves rustle and I see a light jutting through the brush, hiding from my sight. Stepping closer, I find a familiar object. 

This is from that damn dream.

The orb slithered into the pathway, bouncing in acknowledgement of my existence. The object traveled down the trail as I tread behind until we came to a large stump where it had placed itself. As I begin to step closer to it, a bright flash emanates from the orb, temporarily blinding me. When my sight cleared, I found myself in the shadow of a tall, faceless figure, cloaked in a flowing sheet that looked as if it was a fragment of space itself.

"What do you want?!,” I asked, frustrated, frightened.

"We have come to deliver a message, a message of hope. Hope that we are not too late," the giant said in a voice that sounded like a ghostly choir.

"Too late for what? Who the hell are you?!”

"We are Gaia. We are the life source of all celestial bodies; Planets of which you must save."

"Haha, me? You want me to save...planets?" I said chuckling nervously and in disbelief. "You're joking right? This is just some messed up dream. This isn't real, you are not real."

The figure reached out, striking me in the chest.

Holy shit, this might actually be real, I thought painfully.

"Luke, you must find it within yourself to become what you must. There is much more at stake than just your Earth. We haven't much time. Go now, and the answers will be illuminated for you, much like this path."

I hear the leaves rustling. Trees swaying in the wind, branches creaking like the floorboards of an old house. Suddenly everything became very real. 

How could I be dreaming all of this?

HOW?! How could I possibly do anything to save anyone?!

I looked up at the empty canvas of a face on the featureless skull, "What if I can't? What if I never find it within myself to do what I need become your savior?", nearly shouting now, "Why me?"

"You will, Luke. There is reason we are here. There is a reason you are here."

"How do you know?! I exclaimed.

The giant of a figure lowered itself near my face, ironically making me feel much smaller. Inches from me, it whispered into my ear with heavy words, "Because everyone is counting on you."

It was then that I was stricken by a force so great I was like paper in the wind. As I made contact with the ground, everything went black.

Coherence began to come back to me. I raised my head, lifting the upper half of my body off the surface, slowly opening my eyes.

My room was as empty and dull as it was when I fell asleep. 

I release a sigh of relief.

It was all a dream.

I was finally able to close my eyes as I collapsed back into my pillow.

"Luke."

Sleeper

The cold, gritty sand is a strange feeling beneath me.

What is this place? Why am I naked?
I stood, confused and anxious. I became aware of the ominous mountain in the distance and the glistening of the celestial sky on the fragmented mineral that spread the horizon. 

What was that?
The earth began to tremble beneath my feet. A strange blue light began to slip through a crack at the base of the mountain, resembling the majestic movement of an aurora borealis. Creeping towards me, the earth continued to break open stopping just short of my feet.

Everything became silent and still. The sand, like sapphire, shone across the desert plane, reflecting the light projecting from within the earth.

A strange orb of light, slightly larger than my head rose from the crack, stopping eye level where it sit hovering almost hauntingly.

Startled, I began to step away. I hear what sounds like a voice, stopping my retreat. I begin to step forward curiously; the voice now sounding like whispers in the wind. I become almost attracted to this strange object.

The voice now voices, echoing in my mind: "Choose"

As if I lost control of my limbs, I reach out to touch the source, now only inches from my face. My palm tingling as my hand gets closer. I can almost grace the surface now. The orb implodes in a giant flash-bang, blinding me and throwing me on my back.

The sheets curl between my fingers, the pillow damp with sweat. My ceiling becomes more than a silhouette as my eyes open and begin to adjust.

That damn dream again.

Purpose, Path, and Possibility

Purpose, Path, and Possibility.

Three words that drive us all.

Three words that we strive to achieve.

Be it understanding or fulfillment of these, some of us never find them.

I find myself feeling more and more the need to understand and fulfill these each and every passing day.


I've been thinking a lot lately, not that I never was, and I am so mentally drained that it makes me physically tired. Not to be conceded, but I'm an intelligent guy, and it is so demoralizing to see so many of my friends whom I graduated high school with graduating college (good for them) and beginning (or continuing, depending on who it is) successful, happy lives. And yet, I'm here. I have a job that doesn't pay well. No college degree to get one. Sure, I'm in school to get one, but even that is not guaranteed. I attended ITT Tech for a while which ended up being the biggest mistake of my life. Now I'm once again a "freshman" because none of my credits transferred, but hey what is $20k good for, right? I have so many things that I want to do, but I came to a point where I had to throw away the thought of growing toward what I want to do so that I could jump on the fast-track to a degree I had no desire to have. Did I at one time? Maybe, though I'm sure the voice in my head saying, "This is what is best for you. This will get you a job quicker" did a good job of making believe I wanted it. I don't want to be in an office for the rest of my life saying "Here you go Mr. Employee Sir! Look how much more money we've made so far this year! We're going to go ahead and cut your hours so that we can keep this going. Couldn't do it without ya!". If you know what you love, do it. Don't waste your time picking dandelions thinking they're flowers. There are few moments where I completely lose myself, doing what I love, and I cherish every chance I get. Being on a sideline surrounded by so much possibility and knowing that I have the ability, the chance, the possibility to change someone's life within those 60 minutes drives me. It gives me a sense of purpose. I NEED to be out on the hot, dusty desert of a practice field. I long for it.

Though I have helped coach Mighty Mites since 2008 when my little brother Gabe was in 4th grade, the fall of 2011 was a special time. Gabe had moved up to Middle School football and had ended mine and my dad's coaching run, or so it seemed, until my dad and I were given the opportunity to take over a football team for their last year of Mighty Mites. I believe they had only won 1 or 2 games in the three previous seasons combined. It was rough at first, but we turned it around when we beat Cassville 24-0. Soon after, we went on to beat the defending champs in a RIDICULOUS game against Mt. Vernon to move on to the "Super Bowl". That game will always be imprinted in my thoughts. I will never forget standing out on the field coordinating the defense, only seconds left, in our final stand. It was chalk lines between us and taking a team that no one would give a second look to to the "Super Bowl". The ball is snapped, everything slowed down. The anticipation was crazy. The ball flies out of the quarterback's hand and found its way into Bradley Hudson's hands as he fell to the ground. That was it. Game over. We had just made it to the "Super Bowl". I felt like I jumped 10 feet in the air, until I got halfway tackled by Coy Butterworth whilst twisting my ankle.

I know, I know, "Dude, it's Mighty Mites."

It isn't just Mighty Mites.

It's the happiness, the joy, frustration, the blood, the sweat, the determination, the many hours and days of practices and games, the strategy, and knowing that at the end of the day those kids will always remember the time they beat the defending champs.

THAT is the purpose I want to serve. THAT is the path I want to take. The opportunity to see so much potential and possibility and help them recognize it, on and off the field.

Superheros on the Big Screen

If you have a TV or have been to the theater in the last 15 years, chances are you've watched a superhero movie. I'm positive that this is now considered an American tradition. Being very passionate about almost anything nerdy, I have certainly absorbed myself into this tradition. Maybe it is just a personal tradition, but I have rarely missed an opening night to a superhero movie in the aforementioned time frame. We are in what is called the "Golden Age" of comic book movies and I absolutely love it, even when I don't. I have witnessed the rise and fall (and resurrection and fall again) of some superhero franchises. I have witnessed the complete re-imagining of franchises that have blown my mind. It is indeed a great time to be a comic book fan.  There are those that think the cinematic market is flooded with superhero movies, and I have to disagree. To me, there are just as many if not more terrible cop movies or movies about zombies, but you don't hear anyone complaining about them. That's because those aren't good movies. With superheros, there is literally no limitation to what can be done and I think the fact that we are getting good superhero movies as frequent as we are scares the living hell out of movie critics. "Superheros are for kids". Watch The Dark Knight and tell me that 1. it's for kids and, 2. that it isn't one of the best crime movies of all time. If you can do that, there is a really good chance that you like terrible cop movies or just didn't watch it. Granted, there are definitely superhero movies that are aimed toward being "family friendly", but that doesn't mean that they aren't enjoyable. After all, if you enjoy something, isn't that all it takes for it to be "good"? Don't get me wrong, I have definitely watched so terrible movies that I enjoyed, but those movies knew they were terrible.

This I believe freewriting

I believe that intelligence affects musical taste. I feel that most of society likes pop music or country music because it is simple music. A lot of the extremely intelligent people i know listen to classical music or progressive metal that has its roots in classical music. Music theory is something that is huge in these two types of music something that is hard to understand. It almost likes like complex math at times. I wonder if there are formulas that can help right classical music. music music music dumb country music dumb rap music dumb pop music. I wonder how many musicians are exceptional mathematicians? Simple creatures crave simple things. Can't focus can't focus can't focus Tool used Fibonacci's Sequence in their time signatures for the album Lateralus. I don't see Katy Perry doing that anytime soon.  

This I Believe List

1. I believe we are not alone
2. I believe I am important
3. I believe our political system is corrupt
4. I believe in the power of thought
5. I believe that determination is the key to success
6. I believe society is purposely dumb-downed
7. I believe materialism is destroying us
8. I believe that religion hurts humanity
9. I believe in being a good person
10. I believe in doing the right thing
11. I believe that the US is not the greatest country in the world
12. I believe that the US has the most potential to be the greatest
13. I believe that we were visited by superior beings in ancient times
14. I believe we should focus on scientific research, even if it can be inhumane at times
15. I believe there is a cure for Diabetes
16. I believe video games do exponentially more good than harm
17. I believe that music is therapeutic
18. I believe art should be a greater focus in schools
19. I believe our school system should not be standardized 
20. I believe that football is the greatest sport in the world
21. I believe intelligence affects musical taste